First, I apologize for not posting yesterday. It was the first time receiving a new shot to treat my cancer, and although I do not feel really painful side-effects, it did put me down for a long, solid 5-hour nap, which for me, basically consumed the majority of my day. So, last night I prayed to come up with a topic that is inspirational or at least positive. Hence, this morning I decided I would continue with my last post’s “cup runnith over” or cup half-full topic.
In today’s economic, ecological, political situation, it is sometimes difficult to see positives, but if you intentionally try, you can see an abundance of blessings. Is it worth it? I say yes, it is worth it ten-fold, even more.
Night before last, I did not want to sleep in my bed, because shortly before bedtime, I saw a bug run across my bed, so… recliner it was. Last night, when the vision was not so clearly in the present (short-term memory loss can be a benefit at times), I decided I needed to face that silly fear and have rest-full night in my comfy little twin bed, bug or not. Knowing that even when we don’t see them (bugs, in this case), they are likely there anyway, and most are harmless. I have to tell you that once I crawled into bed after my nightly prayers, I pulled the covers over my shoulder and snuggled up on my pillow, I just had to thank God for having such a marvelous comforting place to lay my head at night. Well, I slept like a baby, or even better, and woke refreshed this morning. I am still a little sore on my rump, as the shot was in both cheeks, but I have a smile on my face and a twinkle in my eyes. J Thank you God, for a new and glorious day!
Yes, I fall prey to the blues, just like anyone, but I refuse to stay there, as it feeds upon itself and grows and grows if left unchecked. It is easy to fall victim to negative thoughts, it takes no effort at all. Sometimes it feels impossible to find the positive in a situation, but once you do, and focus in on that, you can use that strength to climb out of the hole we bury ourselves in. Is it hard? Yes, sometimes extremely overwhelming, that is where faith comes in. God does not always give us what we want, but he does give us what we need, whether we can see it our not. I suppose that is where the title of my blog came from “Faith in the Dark”.
We usually get what we give out, in one form or another. What we receive for our efforts is not always immediate, related, or even visible. But, the positive does multiply on it's return, sometimes, in just being able to sleep at night, knowing you did the righteous thing, or in brightening someone else’s day, who then passed that smile forward (Tangent... I love the movie “Pay it Forward”). Imagine the feeling in the air, the fullness of our beings, if we were surrounded by positive people, deeds, visions, etc.. Yes, bad things will always happen and sometimes to whom we judge as being a “good” person. However, how else would we know what is good, without the comparison to bad? It is what we do when we encounter negativity that determines what we will gain from the experience.
Some people ask me “how can I smile and be positive?” (again I am not always positive – I am human) when I have terminal cancer, osteo-necrosis of the jaw, possibly MS, multiple side effects from the diseases and the treatments, etc. See how easy it is to ramble off all the “bad” things. I just respond, that it is nothing to admire, rather, to me, it simply beats the alternative. If I give up on me and thus God, why should anyone else care about me? If I can hold on to the fact, that God is there, in the dark as well as in the light, even though I cannot see him, he lifts me up and gives me strength to try to see the good in all things.
With that, I am going to go sit on my little patio area, and relish in this beautiful spring day, thanking God for all that surrounds me J