First, I apologize for not posting yesterday. It was
the first time receiving a new shot to treat my cancer, and although I do not
feel really painful side-effects, it did put me down for a long, solid 5-hour
nap, which for me, basically consumed the majority of my day. So, last night I
prayed to come up with a topic that is inspirational or at least positive.
Hence, this morning I decided I would continue with my last post’s “cup runnith
over” or cup half-full topic.
In today’s economic, ecological, political situation,
it is sometimes difficult to see positives, but if you intentionally try, you
can see an abundance of blessings. Is it worth it? I say yes, it is worth it
ten-fold, even more.
Night before last, I did not want to sleep in my bed,
because shortly before bedtime, I saw a bug run across my bed, so… recliner it
was. Last night, when the vision was not so clearly in the present (short-term
memory loss can be a benefit at times), I decided I needed to face that silly fear and have rest-full night in
my comfy little twin bed, bug or not. Knowing that even when we don’t see them
(bugs, in this case), they are likely there anyway, and most are harmless. I
have to tell you that once I crawled into bed after my nightly prayers, I
pulled the covers over my shoulder and snuggled up on my pillow, I just had to thank God for having such a marvelous comforting place to lay my head at night. Well,
I slept like a baby, or even better, and woke refreshed this morning. I am
still a little sore on my rump, as the shot was in both cheeks, but I have a
smile on my face and a twinkle in my eyes. J Thank
you God, for a new and glorious day!
Yes, I fall prey to the blues, just like anyone, but I
refuse to stay there, as it feeds upon itself and grows and grows if left
unchecked. It is easy to fall victim to negative thoughts, it takes no effort
at all. Sometimes it feels impossible to find the positive in a situation, but
once you do, and focus in on that, you can use that strength to climb out of
the hole we bury ourselves in. Is it hard? Yes, sometimes extremely
overwhelming, that is where faith comes in. God does not always give us what we
want, but he does give us what we need, whether we can see it our not. I suppose that is where the title of my
blog came from “Faith in the Dark”.
We usually get what we give out, in one form or another. What we receive for our
efforts is not always immediate, related, or even visible. But, the positive
does multiply on it's return, sometimes, in just being able to sleep at night, knowing you
did the righteous thing, or in brightening someone else’s day, who then passed
that smile forward (Tangent... I love the movie “Pay it Forward”). Imagine the
feeling in the air, the fullness of our beings, if we were surrounded by
positive people, deeds, visions, etc.. Yes, bad things will always happen and
sometimes to whom we judge as being a “good” person. However, how else would we know
what is good, without the comparison to bad? It is what we do when we encounter
negativity that determines what we will gain from the experience.
Some people ask me “how can I smile and be positive?” (again
I am not always positive – I am human) when I have terminal cancer,
osteo-necrosis of the jaw, possibly MS, multiple side effects from the diseases
and the treatments, etc. See how easy it is to ramble off all the “bad” things.
I just respond, that it is nothing to admire, rather, to me, it simply beats the
alternative. If I give up on me and thus God, why should anyone else care about
me? If I can hold on to the fact, that God is there, in the dark as well as in
the light, even though I cannot see him, he lifts me up and gives me strength
to try to see the good in all things.
With that, I am going to go sit on my little patio
area, and relish in this beautiful spring day, thanking God for all that
surrounds me J
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